I am going to die.
I was sitting on a bench on a warm fall afternoon with Anna Scott. My goal was to learn more about what she was doing and how we could help each other. After I asked her who her ideal client was, she asked me the same question.
I said, “Someone who’s successful, but doesn’t feel successful. They know they have so much more to offer and a deep desire to make a positive impact in this world.
“But they’re scared; they don’t know where to start. They want to share their message, but haven’t articulated it yet. They want to write and speak, but haven’t started.”
And then I realized I was talking about myself. Crap.
James Bond: I came here to kill you.
Oberhauser: And I thought you came here to die.
James Bond: Well, it's all a matter of perspective.
I’ve flirted with the danger with self-publicity. A few podcasts here, some blogs over there, a sprinkle of speaking events. And yet…
Where is that ritual of “expert marketing” and “thought leadership” I encourage in my clients? I’ve supported clients through getting publishing deals, being on TV shows, and building multi-million-dollar businesses. I should be able to do this for myself, right? What kind of hack am I for not being able to do this for myself? I seem to have run into that fundamental truth: we are all excellent with Other People’s Lives, just don’t look at our own.
But now, I’m looking at my own.
And so it begins, the soul-crushing cycle of self-criticism, doubt, and the Imposter Syndrome. All those questions that pop up: will they judge me? How will they judge me? Will they like me? What if I fail? What if I succeed?
Worse than a hamster on its wheel.
At least I know my big fear; it’s the fear of being wrong. I MUST ALWAYS BE RIGHT! Yes, that sounds reasonable… for a mad woman.
So instead, what if… I embrace wrong. I embrace imperfections. I embrace mistakes. I embrace movement. I embrace trying.
Then, ultimately, I will embrace amplifying my message. Because, when I do that, other people begin to embrace the missions in their lives.
Because if you even have an inkling of desire to be seen, a secret yearning to be heard… then it’s your destiny. If you choose to accept it.
This post was originally published on Anna Scott's blog, Wisdom Coach.